Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize