if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
