arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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