I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
