i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
