Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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