I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
