If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
