i need an iv and a liver transplant
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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