i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
