no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
