i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Houston, we have a blender
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
