Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
