Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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