Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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