Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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