Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
