your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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