Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
