my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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