I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
