On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
