When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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