didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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