I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
