Me too!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
