girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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