I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm passing your future prison.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
