What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
