my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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