weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
