dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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