good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
