he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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