what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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