It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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