Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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