if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
