I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
