Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
