WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
