Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
