Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
