So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
