I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
