I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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