a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize