i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
