That's when you crack a 10am beer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize