i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
