Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
