He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
