At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize