he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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