I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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