She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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