I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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