Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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