she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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