I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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