We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
