Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
