Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she was so not down for the gang bang
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we're so committed to being not committed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
