Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
