So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
now i know why i became what i already was.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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