Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
