Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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