Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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