Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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