As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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