i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
