Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
