i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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