That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
