I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
