i love accidental penises.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
