Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
