please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
