she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
