I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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