Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
