So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Randomize
