Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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