thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
